As I’ve been counting down the days, I’ve realized I am getting more and more emotional. I was driving to the airport to pick up a girlfriend that was visiting and while driving I let my mind wander. Before I knew what hit me I was in tears. I was thinking about how hard it will be to say bye to everyone, some more than others, and how difficult it will be not being able to talk to the people who I converse with on a daily basis.
I always go through this before any big change in my life. I start second guessing my choices when it comes close to go time but I know that I made my decisions for the right reasons and after the initial shock of leaving and homesickness goes away, I will be happy with my choice.
I know I’m going to make friends in Romania and it will be an amazing experience that I will greatly enjoy but deep down inside, there is a part of me that is afraid that everyone is going to forget me. Out of sight, out of mind…right? My biggest fear is being forgotten. I know it’s silly but I can’t help it. So many things are going to happen in the next two years that I will miss out on and it pains me to think of that. My two good friends Danny and Kimmie are getting married in August which I will miss. Rosie and Luis just got married and might end up having a baby during the time I’m gone. My cousin is getting married soon as well. I haven’t even left yet and I already have a list compiled of the events that I’m going to be missing out on. sigh.
Thinking about these things is a huge bummer, I know that there are many many good sides to all of this as well, they are just very hard to focus on right now. Tensions have started rising within my household. My parents and I bicker about the most random stuff that doesn’t even matter because we are all passive aggressive and we all know why we are actually upset and just pretend it’s something else. I know I’m supposed to be using the last few months to enjoy time with the people in my life as much as possible but the tension is making things extremely difficult.